So what am I doing here?

Would you like to know more about how I fill my day to day routines? No? You just want to hear about the animals and the half-naked chicks? Well I'm sorry but we all wear several t-shirts at once cos it's really cold but none of us believed that when they told us and didn't bring any sweaters...nah, it's not that bad, but it aint tropical. Fraid I have yet to whip out my bristly knees for the delight of the locals. I get up at 6 to be at work for 7, just a pleasant stroll through the pine forest to the camp on the lakeshore. Here I check on the guys cleaning the chalets running my finger over everything, (can anyone send me some white gloves?). Then breakfast at 7:30. mmm maltabello porridge, which is made from nsmima and malt. It aint half bad with some delicious Nyika honey from our very own African killer bees. Counting melons is how I spend my mornings...no WATER melons (I can tell you're all reading the first few sentences again). And I count carrots, and potatoes, and baked beans, and sausages... A whole bunch of counting. And counting of bunches. Actually, I have the rather grand responsibility of setting up a stocktaking database. Ooh, get me. In the afternoons I wander to the Lodge to entertain the rather more refined (rich) clients with my sparkling wit and companionship. And I get to eat biscuits.